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Which dog eats with its tail?
→ All dogs keep their tails on when eating.

If a beagle can't play a bugle in the marching band, what's his other favorite instrument to play?
→ A trombone.

What should you do if you have a basset hound over for dinner?
→ Have a short table!

What dog sweats the most and drinks the most water?
→ A hot-weiler!

How can you make a basset hound fast?
→ Take away its food!

What dogs never get lost?
→ Newfound-lands!

When are Pomeranians good at taking photographs?
→ Only when they snap at something!

What dog always gets on everyone's nerves?
→ A great pane!

What dog takes the money and runs fast?
→ A payhound!

What dog do other dogs tell their problems to?
→ A complaint Bernard!

What dog wears contact lenses?
→ A cock-eyed spaniel!

What kind of dog is the smartest?
→ A great brain!

What dog would you want on your American football team?
→ A golden receiver!

How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
→ Terrier-fied!

What dog do other dogs go to when they are sick?
→ A docs-hund!

What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet?
→ A Lassie who plays brassie!

What is the best kind of dog to direct traffic at a busy intersection?
→ A pointer!

What kind of dog doesn't do well in hot weather?
→ A faint Bernard!

- Every time I tell my English Setter to stop barking, it never does!

- What does it do?

- It just stands on its back two legs and quotes Shakespeare!

- What?

- Yeah, it says:

- To bark or not to bark that is the question! and keeps on barking!

What do you get when you cross a sled dog with an elephant?
→ A tusky!

What dog wears a white coat and does science experiments?
→ Labs!

What kind of dog can tell time?
→ A clockshund!

What kind of dog always needs a shave?
→ A bearded collie!

What wears a black, white, and tan coat but has no hair?
→ A bald beagle!

What kind of dog is the most colorful?
→ A paint Bernard!