Latest

Advertisement: Dog for sale. Really gentle. Eats anything. Especially fond of children.

What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise?
→ A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper!

Why does the Hound of the Baskervilles turn round and round before he lies down for the night?
→ Because he's the watchdog and he has to wind himself up.

Why did the dog jump into the sea?
→ He wanted to chase the catfish!

What do you get when you cross a Doberman with a bird?
→ A Doberman fincher!

What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a dog?
→ A hen that lays pooched eggs.

What dog rides a horse named Macaroni?
→ Yankee poodle!

What is the best way to follow a lost dog's paw prints?
→ With a track-tor!

What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog?
→ Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!

How can if you have a stupid dog?
→ It chases parked cars!

When George Washington was a general, why did he like to have dogs around?
→ They were very helpful during the "Roverlutionary War!"

How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast?
→ He foamed at the mouth.

What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?
→ A petticoat!

What kind of modeling clay does a dog use?
→ Fi-Do!

What did the dog use to make his kite?
→ Flypaper.

When does a dog go "moo"?
→ When it is learning a new language!

Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
→ Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!

Why is a dog like a baseball player?
→ He runs for home when he sees the catcher coming.

How many hairs are in a dog's tail?
→ None. They are all on the outside.

How did the dog make anti-freeze?
→ He stole her blanket.

What do you call an alcoholic dog?
→ A whino!

- How did you find the fleas?

- I didn't! They found me!

Where will a springer spaniel never shop?
→ At a flea market!

What is your dog's favorite breakfast?
→ Pooched eggs!

How do you make a dog float?
→ Take two scoops of ice cream, a couple of squirts of soda and a small dog.