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Why does the new Polish Navy have glass bottomed boats?
→ So they can see the old Polish Navy!

What's the national anthem of Puerto Rico?
→ "Attention K-Mart shoppers..."

Have you heard about the latest Polish parachute?
→ It opens on impact.

Why can't Chinese Barbecue?
→ Because the rice falls through the grill

What do you get when you cross an Arab with a Mexican?
→ Oil of Ole'

A Jewish father has two kids who want to sell lemonade on the street corner for 15 cents a glass. He figures he'll spend about 3 bucks on the ingredients, the kids will sell maybe 10 glasses and then drink the rest and get stomach aches. His eventual response:

- Go stand on the corner for two hours and come back, I'll give you two dollars. Everybody wins.

Two Irishmen are sitting in a bar. Mick's looking particularly sad and Patrick asks him what the matter is. Mick says:

- Well, I knew that my grandfather had died in the war, but I've just found out that he actually died in the Auschwitz concentration camp.

Patrick says:

- That's terrible, did he go to the gas chamber? - and Mick replies.

- No, he fell out of the machine gun tower.

How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home?
→ They put parking meters on the roof!

A boy comes home from school and tells his mother that he got a part in the school play.

- What part? - the mother asked.

- I play a Jewish husband - the boy replied.

- Go back to school and tell your teacher that you want a speaking role!

Did you hear about the New 3 Million Dollar Alabama State Lottery?
→ 3 dollars a year for a million years.

A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder...the bartender looks up and says:

- Where the hell did you get that thing?

The Parrot replies:

- Over in Africa, there's millions of them!!!!

Did you hear about the Mexico City earthquake?
→ It did $100 million worth of improvements.

Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
→ He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says:

- Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?

What's the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother?
→ An Italian mother says:

- If you don't eat it, I'll kill you.

A Jewish mother says:

- If you don't eat it, I'll kill myself.

How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas?
→ They all gather around their cash registers and sing "What a Friend We Have In Jesus..."

Did you hear about the man who was half Jewish & half Italian?
→ He made himself an offer he couldn't understand.

Why did the Jews wander in the desert for forty years?
→ Somebody dropped a shekel.

What happened to the Irishman who tried to kill himself by swallowing 100 pain killers?
→ After two he began to feel better.

Where do you find 60 million french jokes?
→ In France.

How many Serbs does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ It doesn't matter..
There's a blackout!

Why do Southern guys go to family reunions?
→ To meet chicks.

How do you tell if an Arkansas girl is old enough to marry?
→ Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she's old enough.
If it isn't, cut the barrel down a bit.

What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand?
→ Quattro Sink-o

What do West Virginians call a pretty woman?
→ A tourist.

What do you call 500 Natives running on the race track?
→ The Indy 500.