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How many Chinamen does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Thousands, because Confucious say many hands make light work.

How many Chinese Red Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ 10,000 - to give the bulb a cultural revolution.

How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Twelve. Four to form a Parliamentary study committee to decide how to solve the problem, one Francophone to complain that I didn't translate this joke into French, one Native Canadian to protest that the interests of Native Canadians have been overlooked, one woman from the National Action Committee On the Status Of Women to say that women have been underrepresented in the process, one to go over the border to the Niagara Falls Factory Outlet Mall and buy a new bulb and not pay duty on it on the way back, one to actually screw it in, one to collect taxes on the whole procedure so the government can afford it, one to buy a case of…

How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ One, but you have to pry him off the sheep first.
→ Two - one to say "She'll be right mate" and one to fetch the beers.
→ 16. One to change the bulb and 15 to say "Good on yer, mate!"

How many French farmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Three. Farmer #1 goes away and gets a new lightbulb. Farmer #2 notices that it has been imported from Britain and promptly sets fire to it, so farmer #1 has to go and get another one, and then farmer #3 changes it.

How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
→ He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.

What do you call an American with a lavatory on his head?
→ John.

An Irishman joined the American Air Force and was making his first parachute jump. The instructor said:

- When you jump out of the plane, shout Geronimo and pull the ripcord.

When the Irishman woke up in hospital a few days later the first thing he said was:

- What was the name of that Indian again?

An American tourist was visiting a quaint country village, and got talking to a farmer in the local pub.

- And have you lived here all your life, Sir? - asked the American.

- Not yet, m'dear - said the farmer wisely.

- Where's your pencil, Bud? - the teacher asked an American boy who had just come to school in Britain.

- I ain't got one, Sir.

- You're in England now, Bud. Not ain't, haven't. I haven't got a pencil. You haven't got a pencil. They haven't got a pencil.

- Gee! Pop said things were tough in this country, but I didn't know pencils were so hard to come by.

Did you hear about the Polak who married an Amish woman?
→ He drove her buggy.

Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to kill him?
→ On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Polish Remover".

Why do Polish hate Cauchy's dog? (hint on Cauchy-Riemann theorem)
→ Because it leaves residues at each Pole.

How do you take census in a Polish village?
→ Roll a quarter down the street, count the legs, divide by two, and subtract one for the Jew who catches it.

How do you know you're flying over Poland?
→ Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.

Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could not be used?
→ No matter where you sat you were behind a Pole.

Why aren't Hindu and Chinese people allowed to play hockey?
→ Because everytime they go into the corner they open up a convienent store.

Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
→ Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?
→ They had reservations.

What's the object of a Jewish football game?
→ To get the quarter back!

What do you get when you cross a matzo ball with LSD?
→ A trip to Israel.

Jewish telegram: "Begin worrying. Details to follow."

How does every ethnic joke start?
→ By looking over your shoulder.

The Arkansas lad was obviously deeply troubled.

- Why so glum, Chum? - asked the kindly stranger.

- If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister?