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This small Latino man walks into a bar, sits, and orders a beer. A big man comes in, taps him on his shoulder, and says:

- You're sitting in my seat!

The same Spanish man ignores him and orders another beer. The man again taps him on his shoulder, and tells him he's sitting in his seat.

The same Spanish man gets up, leans over the seat, and says:

- I don't see your name on it.

He sits down again and orders still another beer.

- The man says... I know Karate!

The small Latino man says:

- I know JUDO! JU DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE A GUN! JU DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE A KNIFE!

There were three men working at the top of a building. One was Chinese, one was Mexican, and the other one was Polish. At lunch they went to the edge and the top of the building the Mexican guy pulled out a taco and he said if I get another taco I am gonna jump off this bulding tomorrow. The Chinese guy pulled out fried rice and said if I get fried rice tomorrow I'm gonna jump off with you. The Polish guy pulled out a ham sanwich and said if I get another ham sandwich I'm gonna jump tomorrow with you guys too. The next day the Mexican guy got a taco so he jumped off. The Chinese guy got fried rice so he jumped off. The Polish guy got a ham sandwich so hey jumped off the building. The next…

What's the slowest thing in the world?
→ A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.

A White man explaining to a Mexican man says that there are three words the Mexican needs to know in order to be all right in the city: The White man says these words are: green, pink, and yellow. Then the White man says "Now tell me a sentence using all three words." The Mexican says "I hear de telephona ah greena greena, I pink up de phona and say ah yellow?"

Canada, in view of recent events, will be changing the maple leaf on the flag to a marijuana plant.

That way, the people of Quebec will have good reason to burn the flag.

A boy from France comes to America. He wants to learn some new words so he goes to the airport and learns "take off." Then he learnes "zebra" from the zoo and "baby" from the hospital. Then he goes home and says, "Mommy, I learned new words today." She says, "Great, honey what did you learn?" He says, "Takeoffzebrababy!"

A Texan, a Russian, and a New Yorker go into a restaurant in London.

- Excuse me, but if you wanted the steak you might not get one as there is a shortage due to the mad cow disease - says the waiter.

The Texan says:

- What's a shortage?

The Russian says:

- What's a steak?

The New Yorker says:

- What's excuse me?

How many Osamas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
→ None. They don't have lightbulbs in caves

What's the capital of Afghanistan?
→ KABOOM!!

Why did the Canadian cross the road?
→ He saw some American do it on TV.

Why don't Polish people kill frogs?
→ Because it's their national bird.

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
→ Roberto.

Once a Sardarji (a caste man in India ) goes to visit a temple on a top of Mt. Abu, where the roads are like a zig-zag.

At the starting point towards the Temple, a man tells Sardarji that it will be better to take his car in reverse to the top of Mt. Abu as there will be no space at the top to turn around up there.

So, as per the guidelines given by the man, The Sardarji, goes to the top of Mt. Abu in reverse.

After sometime the Sardarji comes down of the hill in reverse..

When the man sees him, he asks the Sardarji why he came down the hill in a reverse gear.

The Sardarji replies that he got some space at the top of the hill so he reversed his car.

Once there were two chinese gentlemen named Mr. Ho and Mr. Chen. They were neighbors but happened to be very competitive. One day Mr. Ho decided to start a shoe business, he named his store WE DO SHOE. now Mr. Chen decided he must compete with Mr. Ho, so he started a shoe business right next door to Mr. Ho's store and he named it SHOE DO WE.

What do you get when you cross and Chinese and a Mexican man?
→ A car thief who can't drive!

What county in Ireland hates "South Park?"
→ Killkenny.

A man once asked Gandhi what he thought of western civilization.

Ghandi replied:

- I think it would be a good idea.

What happened to the Indian who drank too much tea?
→ He drowned in his teapea.

A Scottish man, an Englishman and an Irishman were sitting in a pub discussing the best pubs around. The Englishman says, "There's a pub in the West Midlands where the landlord buys you a drink for every that you buy." The Scot is not impressed and says, "That's nothing! In the Highlands every time you buy a drink the landlord buys you five." At this point the Englishman is fairly impressed. The Irishman, totally unimpressed, says "That's nothing. In Dublin there's this pub where the landlord buys your drinks all night, and then when the bar shuts he takes you into a room and makes love to you." The Scot and Englishman are well impressed and ask if the Irishman goes there a lot. He replies…

An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food. The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza. Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza. The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, "What the heck did you put on this pizza?" The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put on the pizza what you ordered, pepper only."

How do you sink a Polish ship?
→ Put it in water.

These two Scottish characters are chatting. One of them then pulls out an expensive looking pocket watch from his pocket to check the time.

- That's a fine watch you got there! - says the other.

- Yeah it is, isn't it? I got it from my grandfather - says the guy with the watch.

- Really?

- Yeah, he sold it to me on his death bed.

Once upon a time Nasa decided to send 3 astronauts to space for 2 years. One was American, One was Russian and the other was English. NASA allowed each of them to take 200 pounds of baggage each. The American decided to take along his wife, the Englishman decided to take along books to learn how to speak German whilst the Russian decided to take along cigarettes. Two years later, when the space shuttle landed, there was a big crowd waiting to welcome them home.
First came the American and his wife and each of them had a baby in their arms. Next came the Englishman speaking fluent German. They both gave their speeches and got a rousing round of applause. Suddenly, out came the Russian with a…

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings them over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, definitely Caucasian white baby boy!

- Congratulations - says the nurse to the new parents.

- What will you name the baby?

The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says:

- Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him Sum Ting Wong!

What should Iraq get for its air defense system?
→ A refund.