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Why are fish cleverer than humans?
→ Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?

What do naked fish play with?
→ Bare-a-cudas!

What kind of fish will help you hear better?
→ A herring aid!

What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
→ Monkfish!

Which fish dresses the best?
→ The Swordfish. It always looks sharp!

Where do fish come from?
→ Finland!

Why do penguins eat fish?
→ Because donuts get soggy before they can catch them.

Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea?
→ Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave the key outside!

What did the sardine call the submarine?
→ A can of people!

Why is a fish easy to weigh?
→ Because it has its own scales!

What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?
→ 'Your plaice or mine'!

Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea?
→ Jack the kipper!

What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings?
→ A fish tank!

What fish do road-menders use?
→ Pneumatic krill!

What do you call a literary fish?
→ Salmon Rushdie!

What part of a fish weighs the most?
→ It's scales!

What TV game show do fish like best?
→ Name that tuna!

Two parrots are sitting on a perch. The first one says to the other "can you smell fish?".

What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird's leg and a hand?
→ Birdsthigh fish fingers!

What kind of money do fishermen make?
→ Net profits!

What bit of fish doesn't make sense?
→ The piece of cod that passeth all understanding!

Which fish go to heaven when they die?
→ Angelfish!

Why are fish so smart?
→ They are always in schools!

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
→ Fish!

How do fish go into business?
→ The start on a small scale!