Latest

- Waiter, is there soup on the menu?

- No, madam I wiped it off!

- Waiter, Waiter there's a fly in my ice-cream!

- Gee I did not know that they had started winter sports so early in the year!

- Waiter! Have you got frogs' legs?

- No, sir, I always walk this way

How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb?
→ None, even a burned out bulb can't catch a waiters eye

- Why didn't you make all the food on that long order?

- Because I'm a short order cook.

- Why are you taking so long to order?

- I can't decide whether I want heartburn or nausea.

- I'm sorry to keep you waiting. Your soup will be ready soon.

- What bait are you using?

- I'm sorry I spilled a glass of water on you.

- That's all right. My suit is too large anyway.

- If you know the food here is so lousy, why do you keep coming back?

- It reminds me of my ex-wife's cooking.

- It looks like rain today.

- Yes it does, but it smells like soup.

- Waiter, why is there a spider in my glass?

- It scares away the flies.

- This bread is stale.

- It wasn't last week.

- How come this fly is swimming in my soup?

- I gave you too much. It should be wading.

- Hey, there's a fly in my soup!

- Why are you complaining? Isn't it cooked?

- Didn't you tell me the chef here cooked for the late heads of Europe?

- Yes, and that's why they are the late heads of Europe.

- Why are the waiters in here so nasty?

- Look at who they have to serve.

- What's wrong with these eggs I ordered?

- Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

- Waitress, the portions are getting smaller.

- It's just an optical illusion. It's just that the restaurant has been enlarged.

- Waiter, please close the window.

- Why, is there a draft?

- Yes, it's blown my steak off the plate three times.

- May I please have a glass of water?

- Why, are you thirsty?

- No, I want to see if my neck leaks.

- Could I have a glass of water?

- To drink?

- No, I want to rinse out a few things.

- Why is this sandwich half eaten?

- I didn't have time to finish it.

- Why don't you have doggie bags?

- That would be cruelty to animals.

- Why don't you eat here, waiter?

- Serving it is bad enough, I don't want to compound the felony.

- Why doesn't your menu list prices?

- We didn't want to make you sick before the food does.