Latest

- Why doesn't this restaurant have any specials?

- Because nothing about this food is special.

- Why does your sign say "Fine Dining"?

- We can dream, can't we?

- What is this fly doing in my alphabet soup?

- Probably learning to read.

- Waiter, this food is repeating on me.

- Good, we love repeat business.

- Waiter, there's a button in my salad.

- It must have come off while the salad was dressing.

- Waiter, look at this chicken! It's nothing but skin and bones.

- Would you like the feathers, too?

- Waiter, I found a hair in my turtle soup.

- How about that! The turtle and the hare finally got together.

- Waiter, I can't eat this meal.

- Why not? It looks all right to me.

- I don't have a fork.

- This fish isn't as good as what I ordered here last month.

- That's funny. It's from the same fish.

- There's something wrong with my hot dogs.

- Sorry, I'm a waiter, not a veterinarian.

- That crust on the apple pie was too tough.

- That wasn't the crust, that was the pie plate.

- I thought the meals here were supposed to be like mother used to make.

- They are. She couldn't cook either.

- I didn't order this.

- I know, but your meal tastes worse.

- How long must I wait for that turtle soup I ordered?

- Well, you know how slow turtles are.

- How come the Board of Health hasn't come in and closed you up?

- They're afraid to eat here.

- Do you have bacon and eggs on the menu?

- No, we clean our menus regularly.

- Waiter, waiter! There's a wasp in my dessert.

- So that's where they go to in the winter.

- Waiter, waiter, there's a hand in my soup.

- That's not your soup, sir, that's your finger bowl.

- Waiter, waiter, this lobster's only got one claw.

- It must have been in a fight, sir.

- Then bring me the winner.

- I say waiter, there's a fly in my soup!

- Well throw him a doughnut - they make fantastic life belts!

- Waiter, waiter! There's a mosquito in my soup.

- Don't worry sir, mosquitoes have very small appetites!

- Waiter, this soup tastes funny.

- So laugh, sir.

What will a monster eat in a restaurant?
→ The waiter.

Why do waiters prefer elephants to flies?
→ Have you ever heard anyone complaining of an elephant in their soup?

- Waiter, waiter! What's this creepy crawly thing doing in my dinner?

- Oh, that one? He comes here every night.