Latest

- Waiter, waiter! There's a spider in my soup. Send for the manager!

- It's no good, sir, he's frightened of them, too.

- Waiter, waiter! There's a dead spider in my soup.

- Yes, ma'am, they can't stand the boiling water.

How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb?
→ None, a burned out bulb can't catch a waiter's eye.

- These are the best eggs we've had for years.

- Well, bring me some you haven't had around for that long.

- And how did you find your steak sir?

- Well, quite accidentally. I moved this tomato slice and there it was

- Waiter, your tie is in my soup!

- That's all right, sir, it's not shrinkable.

- Waiter, I can't seem to find any oysters in this oyster soup.

- Would you expect to find angels in angel cake?

- Waiter, what is this stuff?

- That's bean salad sir.

- I know what it's been, but what is it now?

- Waiter, I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.

- I'm sorry, sir, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?

- Waiter, waiter, there's a bee in my soup.

- Yes Sir, it's the fly's day off.

- Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?

- It's fly soup sir!

- Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!

- What do you expect for $1 - a live one?

- Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!

- Yes sir, it's the hot water that kills them.

- Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup!

- Then we've served you too much soup, the fly should be wading

- Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!

- Surely not, sir. It must be one of those vitamin bees you hear so much about.

- Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!

- Sorry sir, maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three.

- Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!

- I know, but unfortunately we are out of turtle.

- Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!

- Couldn't be, sir. The cook used them all in the raisin bread.

- Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!

- Force of habit, sir. Our chef used to be a tailor.

- Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!

- Its OK, Sir, there's no extra charge!

- Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!

- Keep it down sir, or they'll all be wanting one.

- Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!

- No sir, that's a cockroach, the fly is on your steak.

- Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!

- Don't worry sir, the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.

- Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?

- Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir

- Give me a hot dog.

- With pleasure.

- No, with mustard.