Love at First Sight
Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?
Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?
Two cannibals just finished a big meal and one turns to the other while rubbing his stomach with his fist and says, "You know, I just ate my mother-in-law, and she still doesn't agree with me!"
Whatever happened to the bedbugs who fell in love?
→ They got married in the spring.
A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, its my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She would like something electric." The husband replied, "How about a chair?!?"
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
Where do mermaids go to see movies?
→ ... The dive-in
Who does a ghoul fall in love with?
→ His ghoul friend.
What's a cow's favourite love song?
→ When I fall in love, it will be for heifer.
They're perfectly matched. He's blinded by love and her looks are out of sight!
What do you get if you cross a toilet with a pop singer?
→ Loo-Loo!
What do you call an Igloo without a toilet?
→ An Ig!
What do you call a man who cleans out toilets?
→ Lou!
What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head?
→ Sister Matic!
If you need a loan, who do you see in the bank?
→ The Loan Arranger (Lone Ranger).
What kind of bell doesn't ring?
→ A dumbbell.
Why can't you keep secrets in a bank?
→ Because of all the tellers.
Why was the banker bored?
→ Because he lost interest in everything.
How is a bell obedient?
→ It sounds off only when it is told (tolled).
How much is 5Q and 5Q?
→ 10Q.
- You're welcome.
Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?
→ Because they're both cracked!
Dawn was breaking over the camp grounds.
Tony and Steve were lying in their tent.
- That was a terrible thunder and lightening storm last night, - Tony announced.
Steve turned to him and said:
- Why didn't you wake me up? You know I can't sleep during a storm!
The Rocky Mountains are very big and far apart. It takes a long time for an echo to bounce back off one of these mountains.
One night, a camper in the Rockies went to sleep early.
But before climbing into his sleeping bag he yelled:
- Time to get up.
And eight hours later the echo came back and woke him up!
- Bob: Did you hear about the camper who was killed by a garter snake?
- Betty: That's impossible. A garter snake is not poisonous.
- Bob: It doesn't have to be if it can make you jump off a cliff!
Terry and Debbie were camping with their parents deep in the woods.
- How far is it to town? - Terry wanted to know.
- Six miles, - said Debbie.
- That's too far to walk, - Terry replied.
- It's not too bad, - Debbie said.
- We can each walk three miles!
John was hard at work with the broom in his family's tent.
His mother came in and said:
- That's nice. Are you sweeping out the tent?
- No, - John answered.
- I'm sweeping out the dirt.