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How do Alaska CB radio operators say "10-4"?
→ "5-5-2-2."

Did you hear about the Murfreesboro muddlebrain whose father told him about the birds and the bees?

The next day, the Tennessean was stung by a bee and thought he was pregnant.

Did you hear about the Montana moron who went looking for a gas leak with a safety match?

Did you hear about the Texan who moved to Oklahoma and raised the IQ level of both states?

- How come you're only watering half your lawn? - a perplexed tourist asked a Richmond resident.

- I just heard there was a fifty percent chance of rain.

Did you hear about the Omaha mother who got tired of putting name tags on her son's shirts, so she had his name legally changed to "Machine Washable"?

Did you hear about the Georgia accountant who absconded with all the accounts payable?

Did you hear about the Baton Rouge bride who cancelled the wedding when she heard her friends were planning to give her a shower?

- What did Shawn like most about his trip to Paris?

- He said it was lovely to hear the French pheasants singing the Mayonnaise.

- Doctor: That deafness cure help your brother?

- Archie: Sure did! He hadn't heard a sound in years, and the very day after he took that medicine, he heard from America!

Did you hear about the Irishman who tried to swim the English channel?
Halfway across he decided he couldn't make it so he swam back.

What do Filipinos call Canada?
→ Upper U.S.

How do Filipinos count money?
→ One-a, two-a, three-a, four-a, another-a ...

Why can't the Philippines field an ice hockey team?
→ The players all drowned in spring training.

Iraq has just ordered two thousand septic tanks from Russia.
As soon as the Iraqis learn to drive them, they are going to invade Iran.

Carmella and Mario were out on their first date.

- Have you ever read Shakespeare? - asked Carmella.

- No - said Mario.

- Who wrote it?

How does a Russian Aeroflot pilot navigate?
→ By reading street signs.

Why did Rudolfo salute the box of Cornflakes in the supermarket?
→ Because the label said General Foods.

Then there was the Puerto Rican surgeon who made medical history. He performed the first appendix transplant.

Did you hear about the Puerto Rican secretary who was getting so experienced she could type twenty mistakes a minute?

Did you hear about the Mexican bricklayer who went crazy trying to lay a cornerstone in a roundhouse.

Why does the Philippines ban rectal thermometers?
→ They cause too much brain damage.

Did you hear about the Finn who spent a fortune building a storm cellar in case there was an earthquake.

And then there was the Newfie who was found dead in his jail cell with twelve bumps on his head. He'd tried to hang himself with a rubber band.

Did you hear about the guy from Newfoundland who was twenty-two years old before he knew which part of the olive to throw away?