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What dog has money?
→ A bloodhound, because he is always picking up scents (cents).

If George Washington were alive today, why couldn't he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac?
→ Because a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to.

Why was the skunk arrested for counterfeiting?
→ Because he gave out bad scents (cents).

Who makes a million dollars a day?
→ Someone who works in a mint.

If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter, and another quarter, and then another quarter, how much would you have left?
→ A million dollars minus 75 cents.

How did rich people get their money?
→ They were calm and collected.

Which is better, an old ten dollar bill or a new one?
→ An old ten dollar bill is better than a new one.

What lands as often on its tail as it does its head?
→ A penny.

If you take half from a half dollar, what do you have?
→ A dollar.

How can you be sure you have counterfeit money?
→ If it's a three-dollar bill, you can be sure.

Why do wallets make so much noise?
→ Because money talks.

Why did the hippie put his money in the refrigerator?
→ He liked cold cash.

Where do trees keep their money?
→ In branch banks.

Where do hogs keep their money?
→ In piggy banks.

Where do Eskimos keep their money?
→ In snowbanks.

How can you make money fast?
→ Glue it to the floor.

Why is a cat like a penny?
→ Because it has a head on one side and a tail on the other.

When does a female deer need money?
→ When she doesn't have a buck.

How can you get rich by eating?
→ Eat fortune cookies.

Why did the man throw away all the new pennies he had?
→ Because they were a nuisance (new cents).

Why isn't a dime worth as much today as it used to be?
→ Because the dimes (times) have changed.

Why is the moon like a dollar?
→ It has four quarters.

Why are diapers like $10 bills?
→ Because you have to change them.

What kind of money do monsters use?
→ Weirdo (weird dough).

How can you double your money?
→ Look at it in a mirror.