Sport Jokes

Did you hear about the UCLA track star who won a gold medal?
→ He was so proud of it that he had it bronzed.

Why don't Purdue athletes eat pickles?
→ They can't get their heads in the jar.

How are Boris Becker and President Clinton alike?
→ Both aren't as successful when they're not on grass.

A football supporter's favourite Christmas song?
→ 'Yule never walk alone'

Why are Father Christmas' reindeer like a cricket match?
→ Because they're both stopped by the rein.

George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, 'Can Albert come out to play?'

'No,' said the mother, 'it's too cold.'

'Well, then,' said George, 'can his football come out to play?'

Why did the stupid racing car driver make ten pit stops during the Grand Prix?
→ He was asking for directions.

After seeing a documentary on how inner city youths can remove the wheels of cars in under 4 seconds with no specialist equipment, the McLaren team decided to fire their pit crew and hire four of the youths as most races can be won or lost in the pit lane.

The first race came along and the car came into the pits. The youths went to work but the McLaren team boss noticed a real problem.

Not only had the youths replaced all four wheels within four seconds, but within 10 seconds, they'd re-sprayed and re-numbered the car and sold it to the Ferrari Team!

Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
→ He thought he would give him a paunch!

Why don't cannibals like to eat Carl Lewis?
→ He gives them runs!