Sport Jokes

Why did Frankenstein's monster give up boxing?
→ Because he didn't want to spoil his looks.

Why is the monsters' football pitch wet?
→ Because the players keep dribbling on it.

Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?
→ Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"

Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
→ Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing.
"Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."
"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.

Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"

"Absolutely not," he said.
"How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not."
"Season's more than half over," he said.

Why do people leave letters at the football ground?
→ They want to catch the last goal-post!

What do you get if you cross a sports reporter with a vegetable?
→ A common tater!

- PE Teacher: Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?

- Pupil: You told me to put it in the Net.

What happened when the schoool bully went netsurfing?
→ The goalkeeper kicked him out of the football ground.