School

School lunches are not generally popular with those that have to eat them, and sometimes with good reason.
"What kind of pie do you call this?" asked one schoolboy indignantly.
"What's it taste of?" asked the cook.
"Glue!"
"Then it's apple pie, the plum pie tastes of soap."

What kind of ants are very learned?
→ Pedants!

What do you call an ant who skips school?
→ A truant!

Why do computer teachers never get sick?
→ Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

- Teacher: Shall I put the school computer on?

- Pupil: No, Miss, the dress you're wearing looks fine.

- Teacher: Look at the state of the school computer. I want that screen cleaned so I can see my face in it!

- Pupil: But then it will crack and we won't be able to use it at all.

- Pupil: In other schools, pupils get a choice of computers to use.

- Teacher: You get a choice her, too. Use the one we've got or don't use any at all.

- Student: Would it be possible to install Arabic language support on those computers?

- Computer Teacher: In order to use Arabic language in Windows, you must install an Arabic graphic card. So I don't think we could do that.

Why did the school bully kick the classroom computer?
→ Someone told him he was supposed to boot up the system.

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?"
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "God Almighty!" shouted Mary, and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, "Who is our Lord and Savior," but Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue, and stuck her again. "Jesus Christ!" shouted Mary, and the teacher said, "Very good," and Mary fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time Mary jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"