School

Did you hear about the blonde who dropped out of nursing school?
→ She was doing great until she found out she would have to perform the Hymenlick Manuever.

What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college?
→ "Would you like fries with that?"

What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
→ Third Grade.

What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
→ A visitor.

A blind rabbit and a blind snake ran into each other on the road one day. The snake reached out, touched the rabbit and said, "You're soft and fuzzy and have floppy ears. You must be a rabbit."

The rabbit reached out, touched the snake and said, "You're slimy, beady-eyed and low to the ground. You must be a math teacher."

- Teacher: What's a robin?

- Fred: A bird that steals, ma'am.

What's the definition of a Polygamist?
→ A parrot with more than one wife!

- Teacher: Why do we put a hyphen in a bird-cage?

- Pupil: For a parrot to perch on, miss.

How do you get a parrot to talk properly?
→ Send him to polytechnic!

A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test the next day. As he entered the classroom, he saw ten stands with ten birds on them with a sack over each bird and only the legs showing. He sat right on the front row because he wanted to do the best job possible. The professor announced that the test would be to look at each set of bird legs and give the common name, habitat, genus, species, etc.

The student looked at each set of bird legs. They all looked the same to him.
He began to get upset. He had stayed up all night studying, and now had to identify birds by their legs. The more he thought about it, the madder he got. Finally, he could stand it no longer. He went up to the professor's desk and said, "What a stupid test! How could anyone tell the difference between birds by looking at their legs?"
With that the student threw his test on the professor's desk and walked out the door.

The professor was surprised. The class was so big that he didn't know every student's name, so as the student reached the door the professor called, "Mister, what's your name?"

The enraged student pulled up his pant legs and said, "You guess, buddy! You guess!"