School

- Teacher: What's 2 and 2?

- Pupil: 4

- Teacher: That's good.

- Pupil: Good?, that's perfect!

A little girl spoke to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.

The little girl said, "But how can that be? Jonah was swallowed by a whale."

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human. "It is physically impossible!" she said.

Undaunted, the little girl said, "Well, when I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

To this, the teacher said, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

- Teacher: What did the Indians bring to the first Thanksgiving?

- Student: Baseballs.

- Teacher: Baseballs?

- Student: Yeah, they were Cleveland Indians!

Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties?
→ Because there's lots of school spirit!

'We're going to play elephants and circuses,' said a little boy at kindergarten, 'Do you want to join in?'
'I'd love to,' replied the teacher. 'What do you want me to do?'
'You can be the lady that feeds us peanuts!'

Where did the Easter Bunny go to college?
→ Johns Hopkins!

- Teacher: When do astronauts eat?

- Pupil: At launch time!

What does the N on the Nebraska football helmet stand for?
→ "Nowledge."

How do you know a Brigham Young student's been mowing the lawn?
→ The welcome mat is destroyed.

Why do University of Arkansas graduates tape their diplomas to the windshields of their cars?
→ So they can park in handicapped spaces.