School

- Mother: Let me see your report son.

- Son: Here it is, Mother, but don't show it to Dad. He's been helping me!

- Father: You've got 4 D's and a C on your report.

- Son: "Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject!"

- Father: What did you learn in school today?

- Son: That three and three are seven.

- Father: Three and three are six!

- Son: I guess I didn't learn anything today then!

Andy was away from school for 2 days because he had a flu. On the third day when he went back to school, his teacher told him how he felt.
I feel with my hands Miss !

The teacher asked Simon to say his name backwards.
"No mis" he replied

- Teacher: "Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?"

- Student: "So we know when to start Christmas shopping!"

- Jennifer: Are you coming to my party?

- Sandra: No, I ain't.

- Jennifer: Now, you know what Miss told us. Not ain't. It's I am not coming, he is not coming, she is not coming, they are not coming.

- Sandra: Blimey, ain't nobody coming?

- Mother: What do you mean, the school must be haunted?

- Daughter: Well, the principal kept going on about the school spirit.

Mary arrived home from school covered in spots. 'Whatever's the matter?' asked her mother.
'I don't know,' replied Mary, 'but the teacher thinks I may have caught decimals.'

- I told you not eat cake before supper.

- But, Mum, it's part of my homework. 'If you take an eighth of a cake from a whole cake, how much is left.