School

How do you get a Texas Tech senior's eyes to sparkle?
→ Shine a flashlight in his ears.

What do you call ten Utah State law students standing ear to ear?
→ A wind tunnel.

How many Wake Forest fraternity brothers does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
→ Seventeen. One to do it and sixteen to shell the M&M's.

Did you hear about the Penn State professor who went around in a revolving door for six hours because he couldn't remember whether he was going in or coming out?

How do you measure a Villanova graduate's I.Q.?
→ With a tire gauge.

And then there was the UCLA professor who opened up his vest, pulled out his tie and wet his pants.

Did you hear about the Western Kentucky professor who kissed the door goodbye and slammed his wife as he went by?

- Astronomy Professor: What causes a half-moon?

- Student: When you can't get your jeans over your thighs.

- Professor, I hear your wife has had twins. Boys or girls?

- Well, I believe one is a girl and one is a boy but it may be the other way around.

Did you hear about the Louisiana Tech professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours, wondering where he'd seen himself before?