School

What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?
→ One minds the train, the other trains the mind.

- Teacher: Who built the first American car?

- Student: Me Pilgrims.

- Teacher: The Pilgrims?

- Student: Yeah, they made the Mayflower Compact.

Why was the school principal not pleased when he bumped into an old friend?
→ They were both driving their cars at the time!

"Where's the car?" asked Professor Delbert's wife when he got home.

"Did I take it out?"

"Yes, you drove it to school this morning."

"I suppose you're right, my dear. I remember now that after I got out, I turned to thank the man who gave me a lift and wondered where he'd gone."

What's the difference between a schoolteacher and a train driver?
→ A schoolteacher says, "Spit out that toffee" and a train says, "Choo, choo."

What should a teacher take if he's run down?
→ The number of the car that hit him.

What's the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad?
→ One trains the mind, the other minds the train.

Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains?
→ He had to keep track of everything!

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing."

Twenty minutes later there was another announcement:

"Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class."

'I'm very sad to announce this morning, girls, that Miss Jones has decided to retire,' said the principal at morning assembly. 'Now we will all stand and sing this morning's hymn....now Thank We All Our God.'