School

Why are fish so smart?
→ They are always in schools!

What is the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student?
→ One baits his hook, the other hates his book.

What's the difference between an angler and a dunce?
→ One baits his hooks while the other hates his books.

An agriculture student said to a farmer: "Your methods are too old fashioned. I won't be surprised if this tree will give you less than twenty pounds of apples."
"I won't be surprised either," said the farmer, "this is an orange tree".

What did the Eskimo schoolboy say to the Eskimo schoolgirl?
→ What's an ice girl like you doing in a place like this?

What did the Eskimo children sing when their principal was leaving?
→ Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.

What is the most common educational degree in New Mexico?
→ Kindergarten dropout.

"Where's your pencil, Bud?" the teacher asked an American boy who had just come to school in Britain.

- I ain't got one, Sir.

- You're in England now, Bud. Not ain't, haven't. I haven't got a pencil. You haven't got a pencil. They haven't got a pencil.

- Gee! Pop said things were tough in this country, but I didn't know pencils were so hard to come by.

What are the best ten years of an Irishman's life?
→ Third grade.

- Teacher: What a glum face, what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours?

- Pupil: I'd be too polite to mention it!