School

Why does history keep repeating itself?
→ Because we weren't listening the first time!

Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America?
→ On their feet!

Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
→ He wanted Mark Antony!

What was the greatest accomplishment of the early Romans?
→ Speaking Latin!

- Teacher: I see you don't cut your hair any longer.

- Fred: No sir, I cut it shorter.

What do you call an English teacher, five feet tall, covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?
→ Sir!

Why do Apes love to go to school in bad neighbourhoods?
→ They like any jungle - even a blackboard jungle!

Why did the Gorilla fail English?
→ He had little Ape-titude!

What does a Gorilla learn first in school?
→ The Apey-cees!

- Student 1: Did you know that ghosts are protected by the Constitution?

- Student 2: They are?

- Student 1: Sure. It's in the Bill of Frights!