School

What is the bigest pencil in the world?
→ Pennsylvania

Martin asked David, "In which state does the Ohio River run?" David answered with cool, "In the liquid state."

Why did the teacher decide to become an electrician?
→ To get a bit of light relief.

My teacher loves me - she puts kisses against all my sums.

How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ "I don't know, but I can look it up for you."

What did King Arthur sleep with when he was afraid of the dark?
→ A knight light

Where does Napoleon keep his armies?
→ In his sleevies!

What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet?
→ Egyptian dummies.

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
→ They both have 'the' as their middle names!

What does the 1286BC inscribed on the mummy's tomb indicate?
→ The registration of the car that ran him over!