School

- Little Monster: I hate my teacher.

- Mother Monster: Well just eat your salad up then dear!

- Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my questions?

- Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here!

- Teacher, I can't solve this problem.

- Any five year old should be able to solve this one.

- No wonder I can't do it then, I'm nearly ten!

- Teacher: You copied from Fred's exam paper didn't you?

- Pupil: How did you know?

- Teacher: Fred's paper says "I don't know" and you have put "Me, neither"!

- Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at Fred's test paper.

- Pupil: I hope you didn't see me either!

What's yellow, has wheels and lies on its back?
→ A dead school bus!

- Teacher: What family does the octopus belong to?

- Pupil: Nobody I know!

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher?
→ He couldn't control his pupils!

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
→ Because his class was so bright!

Why was the headmaster worried?
→ Because there were too many rulers in school!