School

An ideal homework excuse

- Teacher: Where is your homework?

- Pupil: I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine

- Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn't you?

- Pupil: Not very much!

- Teacher: When you yawn, your supposed to put your hand to your mouth!

- Pupil: What?, and get bitten!

- Teacher: What's big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mothers day?

- Pupil: The school bus!

- Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class?

- Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips!

- Pupil: My teacher was mad with me because I didn't know where the Rockies were.

- Mother: Well next time remember where you put things!

- Teacher: When was Rome built?

- Pupil: At night.

- Teacher: Why did you say that?

- Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!

- Father: I hear you skipped school to play football

- Son: No I didn't, and I have the fish to prove it!

- Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today.

- School Secretary: Who is this?

- Pupil: This is my father speaking!

- Teacher: You're new here aren't you, what's your name?

- Pupil: Fred Mickey Smith