School

- Father: How were the exam questions?

- Son: Easy

- Father: Then why look so unhappy?

- Son: The questions didn't give me any trouble, just the answers!

- Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?

- Pupil: Dead?, I didn't even know he was sick!

What do history teachers make when they want to get together?
→ Dates!

- Father: What did the teacher think of your idea?

- Son: She took it like a lamb

- Teacher: Really?, what did she say?

- Son: Baa!

- Teacher: Did your parents help you with these homework problems?

- Pupil: No I got them all wrong by myself!

My teacher reminds me of history
She's always repeating herself!

- Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?

- Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!

- Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?

- Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

- Teacher: What came after the stone age and the bronze age?

- Pupil: The sausage!

- Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please?

- Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!