Political Jokes

What did Bob Dole reply when asked if he preferred boxers or briefs?
→ "Depends."

Three Republicans walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "We don't serve Republicans here."

The Republicans say, "That's OK... We don't serve you either."

Why are there no Olympic Team Cuban swimmers?
→ Cause all the Cuban who can swim are here already!

How did Bill and Hillary Clinton first meet?
→ They were both dating the same girl in high school.

- President Clinton to maid: Mam, can you do something about Hillary's room. She complains that it's the ugliest room in the White House.

- Maid: Yes, Mr. President--I'll remove the mirrors right away.

A guy is sitting at a bar and orders a drink. At the same time the TV go's on and there is Bill Clinton about to give a speech. The man yells, "There's a horses ass" A guy gets up and punches him.. And the man left.. Then when Hilary Clinton came on he said the same, "There's a horses ASS..."

He then got punched again.. So he says to the bartender, "What is this, a Clinton country?" The bartender says "no, Horse country"

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.

The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

A woman shows up at the white house in a trench coat and scarf and says, "I received your emergency phone call, Mrs. Clinton, and came right away, but what could "I" possibly do to save the country?"

- Mrs. Clinton: Come inside and let me explain, Mrs. Bobbit...

Definition: Politics
Poli (Poly): Many....
Tic(k)s: Blood sucking creatures

One night Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington's ghost in the White House. "George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Clinton asked.

"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," advised George.

The next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom. "Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Clinton asked.

"Cut taxes and reduce the size of government," advised Tom.

Clinton didn't sleep well the next night, and saw yet another figure moving in the shadows. It was Abraham Lincoln's ghost. "Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Clinton asked. Abe replied, "Go to the theater."