Political Jokes

Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, "Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner."

"What did it say on the banners?" Clinton asks.

Saddam replies, "Allah is god, god is Allah."

Clinton says, "You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more beautiful than ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house flew an enormous banner."

"What could you see on the banners?" Saddam asks.

Clinton replies, "I don't know. I can't read Hebrew."

President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game of the season. At the start of the game the pitcher comes up in the stands and whispers something in Clinton's ear. All of a sudden Clinton looks at Hillary and yells, "Okay, Hillary, GET OUT!". She looks surprised but leaves. The pitcher looks at Clinton and says, "No, I said to throw out the first PITCH!"

The Australian liberal party announced today that they are changing their emblem to a condom because it more clearly reflects their party's political stance: A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, discourages co-operation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives one a sense of security while screwing others.

A little girl asked her father, "Daddy? Do all Fairy Tales begin with Once Upon A Time?"

And he replied, "No, there is a whole series of Fairy Tales that begin with 'If Elected I promise...'"

BUY YUGO WAR BONDS

For $25 US dollars you can invest in the future of a developing country just out of the clutches of communism.

What your $$$ buyz: Russian ammo for one freedom fighter for one month for the ethnic clensing!

Their motto: I wanns be like Ike! A little behind the times, BUT!

They model themselves after the US of A. They want to establish a land- first ridding themselves of undesireables (like the US did against the native inhabitants) Why not? What's good enough for US is good enuff for them!

The 'Kentucky Fried Chicken' franchise has a new Bucket of Chicken out. It's called the 'Hillary Clinton Bucket.' It contains two small breasts and two large thighs.

A redneck calls up the White House and tells the receptionist: "I'd like to become the next President of the United States."

- The receptionist: What are you, an idiot?

- Redneck: Why, is it required?

Did you hear that Clinton has announced there is a new national bird?
→ The spread eagle.

Why are politicians like diapers?
→ Both should be changed regularly and for the same reason.

The Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported that Yugoslavian air defenses had shot down a NATO F-16 just after nightfall while the jet was on a bombing run. The plane crashed into an empty field, creating a huge crater. Serbian search and rescue workers have recovered 307 bodies so far, proving that NATO is using Albanian men, women and children terrorists to wage their war of terror from the sky.