Political Jokes

What happened to Chelsea Clinton's younger brother?
→ Monica swallowed him!

Sung to the Oscar Mayer? song:
His baloney has a first name,
It's "I did not inhale."

His baloney has a second name:
"I wasn't getting tail."

He loves to sling it every day,
The White House people all just say,
That Billy Clinton has a way
Of making bullshit sound OK!

Don't steal... The government doesn't like competition!

How are a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky alike?
→ Insert Bill here.

If the prefix "con" is the opposite of the prefix "pro", then is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"?

There was no action at the White House the past few days, hear about this?

Yea, I guess it was labeled a "No Open Fly" zone!

How many right-to-lifers does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Three. Two to screw it in, and one to confirm that light began while they were screwing.

The latest news is, that Bill Clinton has bought a new cigar holder. Unfortunately, due to security reasons, they can't tell us her name!

Where does Bill Clinton have sex?
→ In the oral office.

In 1993, the American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the US published the study, France decided to do their own study. After $250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Poland, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.