Lawyer Jokes

Where is the best place to hide a lawyer?
→ In a brief case.

What kind of clothes do lawyers wear?
→ Lawsuits.

Why didn't Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyer's heart?
→ Because even Cupid can't hit a target that small!

A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with his family. Suddenly, he spotted a fin sticking up in the water and fainted.

- Darling, it was just a shark - said his wife when he came to.

- You've got to stop imagining that there are lawyers everywhere.

Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf?
→ Because it's too much like work, what with all of the lying involved.

What do lawyers do after they die?
→ They lie still.

- Lawyer: Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?

- Client: After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I'm beginning to think I didn't.

- Lawyer: Let me give you my honest opinion.

- Client: No, no. I'm paying for professional advice.

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None, they'd rather keep their clients in the dark.

How can you tell a lawyer is lying?
→ Other lawyers look interested.