Kids Jokes

One day there was a family driving in the car to Michigan to visit their relatives. They were looking for the street they had to turn on to get to their relatives house. They accedently turned on the wrong street so they had to pull in a driveway and turn around. When they pulled into the driveway the girl asked her mother "Why dont these people have electricity?" Very confused the mother said, "Wut are u talking about?" The girl quickly replied, "Well, the sign back there said NO OUTLET!"

- Dan: My little brother is a real pain.

- Nan: Things could be worse.

- Dan: How?

- Nan: He could be twins!

- Peter: My brother wants to work badly!

- Anita: As I remember, he usually does!

- First Boy: Why is your brother always flying off the handle?

- Second Boy: Because he's got a screw loose!

A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day.

- Well - said the Scout.

- Mum had only one dose of castor oil left, so I let my baby brother have it.

- First boy: Are you having a party for your birthday?

- Second boy: No, I'm having a witch do.

- First boy: What's a witch do?

- Second boy: She flies around on a broomstick casting spells.

Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks:

- Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No teeth!

A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother:

- How was I born?

- Well honey... - said the slightly prudish mother.

- the stork brought you to us.

- Oh - said the boy.

- and how did you and daddy get born?

- Oh, the stork brought us too.

- Well how were grandpa and grandma born? - the boy persisted.

- Well darling, the stork brought them too! - said the mother, by now starting to squirm a little.

Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence:

- This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations.

- Father: Why did you put a toad in your sister's bed?

- Son: I couldn't find a spider.

How can you tell if a snake is a baby snake?
→ It has a rattle.