Food Jokes

Once upon a time there were five apples
Which was the cowboy?
→ None - because they were all redskins.

What is red and goes putt, putt, putt?
→ An outboard apple.

How does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
→ When you take careful aim.

How do you make an apple puff?
→ Chase it round the garden

School lunches are not generally popular with those that have to eat them, and sometimes with good reason.
"What kind of pie do you call this?" asked one schoolboy indignantly.
"What's it taste of?" asked the cook.
"Glue!"
"Then it's apple pie, the plum pie tastes of soap."

Fred came rushing in to his Dad. "Dad!" he puffed, "is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?"

"That's what they say," said his Dad.
"Well, give me an apple quick? I've just broken the doctor's window!"

How do you get the most apples at Halloween?
→ Take a snorkel.

Two boys were eating a snack lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said, "Watch out for worms won't you!" The first one replied, "Why should I? They can watch out for themselves."

What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
→ A crab apple!

Where do ants go to eat?
→ At a restaurant!