Food Jokes

What should you do if you find an angry 500-pound dog in your kitchen?
→ Eat out.

How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast?
→ He foamed at the mouth.

How did the dog make gold soup?
→ He put in 24 carrots.

What is a dog's favourite food?
→ Anything that is on your plate!

What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?
→ That hit the spots!

What kind of dog sounds like you can eat it?
→ A sausage dog!

What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
→ His bark was much worse than it's bite!

- Doctor, Doctor, I'm on a diet and it's making me irritable. Yesterday I bit someone's ear off.

- Oh dear, that's a lot of calories!

What does pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
→ Both can smell it but can't eat it.

What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
→ They are both substitute meats.