Food Jokes

What do you call kinky sex with chocolate?
→ S&M&M.

Why is food better than men?
→ Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.

What's another name for pickled bread?
→ Dill-dough.

Three blondes are sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is sucking hers, one is biting hers, one is licking hers. Which one is married?
→ The one with the wedding ring, YOU SICK-O!

What's the difference between a blonde and McDonald's?
→ A blonde serves more people in a night.

What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat?
→ Almond Joy candy bar

What is the difference between medium and rare?
→ 6 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare.

An American tourist went into a restaurant in a Spanish provincial city for dinner, and asked to be served the specialty of the house. When the dish arrived, he asked what kind of meat it contained.

"Senor, these are the cojones," the waiter replied.

"The what, you say?" exclaimed the tourist.

"They are the testicles of the bull killed in the ring today," explained the waiter.

The tourist gulped but tasted the dish anyway, and found it delicious.
Returning the following evening, he asked for the same dish. After he finished the meal, the tourist commented to the waiter: "Today's cojones are much saltier and smaller than the ones I had yesterday."

"True, senor," agreed the waiter. "You see the bull, he does not always lose."

How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?
→ Burger King didn't cover his Whopper.

What dinosaur loves pancakes?
→ A tri-syrup-tops.