Food Jokes

What does a Jewish American Princess make for dinner?
→ Reservations.

Why don't mexicans have barbeques?
→ The beans keep slipping through the grill.

A kid at a sleep-away camp wrote home, "Please send me some food. All they serve here are meals."

There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. One day, a man came in andasked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a half head. The boy said he would go ask his manager about the matter.

The boy walked into the back room and said, "there is some asshole out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce." As he was finishing saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman wants to buy the other half".

The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager called on the boy and said, "you almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressedwith the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here.

Where are you from son?" The boy replied, "Minnesota sir".

"Oh really? Why did you leave Minnesota" asked the manager. The boy replied, "They're all just whores and hockey players up there." The manager was shocked and replied "My wife is from Minnesota!!"

The boy answered, "Really! What team did she play for?"

How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
→ Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.

Why was the blonde looking in the refrigerator?
→ Because The organe Juice said concentrate

How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
→ Seven...one to mix the batter and six to peel the M&Ms.

Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen?
→ That's the proper place to wash vegetables.

What are 3 problems about being an egg?
→ You only get laid once, the only woman to sit on your face is your mother, and it takes 4 minutes to get hard.

What's brown and crispy on the outside, and white and creamy on the inside?
→ A cockroach.