Clean Jokes

What type of people do vampires like?
→ Type O positive people.

What's pink, lives in a sty and drinks blood?
→ A hampire.

Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin?
→ It wanted to play squash.

Did you hear about the vampire who joined an orchestra?
→ He stood on the roof and conducted lightning.

Where is Dracula's American office?
→ The Vampire State Building.

What's it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight?
→ Necking.

Why did the vampire go to hospital?
→ He wanted his ghoulstones removed.

- Doctor, doctor, I think I've been bitten by a vampire.

- Drink this glass of water.

- Will it make me better?

- No, but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.

What has webbed feet and fangs?
→ Count Quackula.

How does a vampire get through life with only one fang?
→ He has to grin and bare it.