Newest jokes

What do you call a ghost that stays out all night?
→ Afresh air freak.

What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost.
→ Fasten your sheet belt.

How did the ghost song-and-dance act make a living?
→ By appearing in television spooktaculars.

What do you call a rich frog ?
→ A golf blooded reptile !

How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs ?
→ They sit eggsaminations !

- I'd like a new frog, please.

- But you bought one only yesterday. What happened?

- It Kermit-ted suicide.

What do you call a frog with no hind legs?
→ Unhoppy!!

A librarian was quietly working when three chickens walked in and jumped on to the counter eyed her and said:

- BUK BUK BUK

Not sure she was sane she gave the chikens three books and they left.

An hour later in walked the chickens again jumped onto the counter, returned the books they had taken earlier and said:

- BUK BUK BUK

Now convinced she was out of her mind she gave them three books, they took one each and left. This time she decided to follow them. She followed them down to the local pond and stood horrified as they threw the books into the water.

All of a sudden they flew back out of the pond and a frog stuck it's head up saying:

- RREDIT RREDIT RREDIT!

A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!"

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.

Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.

- Oh, I really don't care or mind, - said the waiter with a smile.

- We don't even have an air conditioner.