Two teenage boys were talking in the classroom. One said:
- I took my girlfriend to see 'The bride of Dracula' last night.
- Oh yeah - said the other.
- what was she like?
- Well she was about six foot six, white as a ghost and she had big red staring eyes and fangs.
The other said:
- Yes, but what was 'The Bride of Dracula' like?
- Beautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for your girlfriend improve her appearance?
- Man: It did for a while - then it fell off.
Julie had broken off her engagement. Her friend asked her what had happened.
- I thought it was love at first sight - said Julie.
- It was, but it was the second and third sights that changed my mind.
- Bill: My sister has lovely long red hair all down her back.
- Will: Pity it's not on her head.
She's the kind of girl that boys look at twice - they can't believe it the first time.
Did you hear about the girl monster who wasn't pretty and wasn't ugly?
→ She was pretty ugly
- Mary: Do you think my sister's pretty?
- Gary: Well, let's just say if you pulled her pigtail she'd probably say 'oink, oink'!
- Girlfriend: Will you love me when I'm old and fat and ugly?
- Boyfriend: Of course I do!
Little Johnny and his mother were on a train. Johnny leant over and started to whisper in his mother's ear.
- Johnny, how many times have I told you - said his mother, it's rude to whisper. If you have something to say, say it out loud.
- OK - said Johnny, why does the lady over there look like an ugly, haggard old witch?
A woman went to a sweet store to buy some sweets.
The boy behind the counter said:
- Gosh, your ugly aren't you?, I've never seen anyone so hideous as you before
- Young man - she replied. I didn't come here to be insulted
- Really - he said, Where do you usually go?
