After wedding a young couple rented a town house in a large complex.
Concerned about a leak in an upstairs bathroom, young woman called the manager several times, but nothing happened.
Finally her husband reached the manager and, noting the seriousness of the problem, said:
- My wife is afraid the bathtub will fall through the kitchen.
- Oh, no, - the manager quickly replied.
- The bathtub falls through the living room.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
→ A stick.
So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma's kitchen.
- Well now, where's my bucket and where's my water? - Gramma asked him.
- I can't get any water from that water hole, Gramma - exclaimed Johnny.
- There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!
- Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for a few years now, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!
- Well, Gramma, - replied Johnny - if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!
There once was a German schoolteacher. She went to England to teach. When she arrived at the boardinghouse, she wanted to use the bathroom of the Water Closet. She sent a note with a messenger boy to the host asking where the WC was, thinking that the house knew what WC stood for. When the host recieved the letter, he wrote a response thinking that the WC was the Wayside Chapel. He reponse read:
The WC is 3 miles away. My wife has been sick for a while, so she was not able to go for 3 years. The WC can hold up to 300 people at one time. The people complained about the hard wooden seats so instead soft, plush seats were made. I have reserved for you the best seat where EVERYONE can see you!
What is an archaeologist?
→ Someone who's career is in ruins!
Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?
Two cannibals just finished a big meal and one turns to the other while rubbing his stomach with his fist and says, "You know, I just ate my mother-in-law, and she still doesn't agree with me!"
Whatever happened to the bedbugs who fell in love?
→ They got married in the spring.
A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, its my mother's birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She would like something electric." The husband replied, "How about a chair?!?"
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
