Latest

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Bassoon!

- Bassoon who?

- Bassoon things will be better!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Bass!

- Bass who?

- Bass the salt and pepper please!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Bach!

- Bach who?

- Bach to work!

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None. They have a machine that does that now.

How do you know if there is a drummer at your door?
→ The knocking always speeds up.

Why do drummers always have trouble entering a room?
→ They never know when to come in.

What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones?
→ "I didn't wake up this morning..."

What will you never say about a banjo player?
→ That's the banjo player's porsche.

What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker?
→ A dressmaker tucks up frills.

How do you get a clarinet player to play louder?
→ You can't!

How do know a clarinet player is playing loud?
→ You can almost hear them.

What's the definition of a nerd?
→ Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet.

How do you get a cellist to play fortissimo?
→ Write 'pp, espressivo'.

What is the difference between a cello and a coffin?
→ The coffin has the corpse on the inside.

How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Only one, but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
→ None. The piano player can do that with his left hand.

Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?
→ It took him four hours to get the bass player out.

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Six. One to change it, five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light.

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Only one - but the guitarist has to show him first.

Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist?
→ He turned a peg and wouldn't tell the bass player which one.

What do you say to the banjo player in the three piece suit?
→ Will the defendant please rise.

How can you tell the difference between all the banjo songs?
→ By their names.

Why is the banjo player a fiddle player's best friend?
→ Without him, the fiddle would be the most hated instrument on earth.

Why does everyone hate a banjo right off?
→ Saves time.

What is the difference between a banjo and an Uzi submachine gun?
→ An Uzi only repeats 40 times.