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The kids are crazy about a new piglet toy.
When they wind it up, it eats all the spinach off their plates.

The hog was a failure as a TV talk show host.
What happened?
→ He turned out to be a big boar.

Sports fad invented by pigs:
Mud wrestling.

- SOW: Would you like a nice cake with three candles for your party?

- PIGLET: I'd rather have three cakes and one candle.

Pig's explanation for the creation of the Universe:
The Pig Bang Theory.

- Pigs don't look very smart to me.

- Sure, they are. You ever see a sow try to make a silk purse out of a farmer's ear?

Name the pig's favorite Shakespeare play.
→ Hamlet.

- MOTHER PIG: What did you learn in school today?

- FIRST PIGLET: Oink! Oink!

- SECOND PIGLET: Oink! Oink!

- THIRD PIGLET: Woof! Woof!

- MOTHER PIG: What?

- THIRD PIGLET: I'm taking a foreign language.

Mama Pig has a great, new kitchen appliance that lets her prepare meals ahead.
It's called a garbage compactor.

Mama Pig has a great, new kitchen appliance that lets her prepare meals ahead.
It's called a garbage compactor.

Is lunch the favorite subject of piglets?
→ No, it's theatre. They love to ham it up and hog all the attention.

Is it true the pigs went over Niagara Falls in a barrel?
→ No, that story's just a lot of hogwash.

If you drop this book in a pig pen, what should you do?
→ Take the words out of their mouths.

If an elephant is the symbol of the Republican Party and a donkey is the symbol of the Democratic Party, what is a pig the symbol of?
→ Any party where there's lots of food.

I told you not to let those pigs in my office.

Now, look what's happened.
They've eaten all the dates off my calendar!

How does a pig write home?
→ With a pig pen.

How does a mama pig put her piglets to sleep?
→ She reads them pig tales.

How do you take a pig to hospital?
→ By hambulance!

- How do you get your pigs to sleep at night?

- No problem. Everyone here goes to bed with the chickens.

- You must have a very large chicken house.

How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
→ Build a sty-scraper!

How did the little pig win at Monopoly?
→ He built hotels on Pork Place.

How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny?
→ By the egg on its face.

How can you recognize a Gnome Pig?
→ They're the ones with the little red hats.

Have you heard about the pig who took up disco dancing?
→ He liked to swing his weight around.

- FIRST PIGLET: How do you know your boyfriend loves you?

- SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.