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One day a blonde went into Wal-Mart and saw something she liked. The Blonde asked the clerk what it was. The Clerk said it was a thermous.

- What does the thermous do?

- It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.

So she bought one. The blonde brought it to work one day and the blondes boss who also is a blonde said what is that thing? It is a thermous the first blonde said. What does it do? Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. What do you have in it? I have coffee and a popcycle in it.

Why does a blonde girl always have a bruise around her belly button???
→ Cause blonde boys aren't that smart either.

How do you drownd a blonde???
→ You place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow?
→ So that when you pull their tits, they don't moo.

Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
→ Finger on chin I don't know. Hits forehead Oh I get it!

Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers once a month?
→ Because it says right on the box "good for up to 20 pounds."

How do you confuse a blonde?
→ Put her in a round room and tell her to pee in the corner.

How do you confuse her even more?
→ Ask her where she went.

How do you change a blonde's mind?
→ Buy her another beer.

How do you change a blonde's mind?
→ Blow in her ear.

How are a blonde's legs like cheese wiz?
→ They're both useless unless they're spread!

What do a moped and a blonde have in common?
→ They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.

Why did the blonde fail her driver's license exam?
→ She wasn't used to the front seat!

Why did she finally pass her test?
→ She took the examiner with her.

What do you call a blonde lesbian?
→ A waste.

Why do blondes drive BMWs?
→ Because they can spell it.

Whats the difference between a blond and a Mosquito?
→ The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

Why did the blond get fired from the M&M's Factory?
→ She threw away all the w's.

How did the blond break her leg while raking leaves?
→ She fell out of the tree

How do you get a blonde's eyes to sparkle?
→ Shine a flashlight in her ear.

What do you do when a Blonde throws a grenade at you?
→ Pull the pin and throw it back.

How do you confuse a blond?
→ You don't, they're born that way.

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and then the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip.

She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is…

This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card. She asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards -- something unusual. The clerk points her to a new card just in that day -- "Happy Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry."

The blonde replied, "How cool! I'll take the whole box!"

I was shopping at our local supermarket.

When I got to the checkout line, there was a beautiful young blonde ahead of me.

As she placed her groceries on the checkout stand, the bagger asked her, "Paper or plastic?"

"It doesn't matter," she replied, "I'm bisacksual."

A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, "T-G-I-F" (letters only).

He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T" (letters only).

She looked at him, puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again.

He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."

The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly "T-G-I-F" another time.

The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, "S-H-I-T."

The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?"

This guy and a blonde are making out feverishly in the front seat of his car. After an hour or so, he whispers in her ear, "Do you want to move to the back seat?"

She replies, "NO!" Flabbergasted, he says, "Why Not?"

To which she replies, "Well, I want to stay up here with you. It'd be lonely back there!"