Latest

Three women, A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, all come home from work at the same time and get on the elevator. The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall and says: "OOOOOhhh that looks like semen." She reaches out and touches the blob with her fingers and says "It feels like semen."

The redhead reaches out and touches it with her fingers, smells it, and says "It smells like semen." The blonde, reaches out and touches it with her fingers and then puts her fingers in her mouth and tastes it and says, "It doesn't taste like anyone in this building . . ."

What do you call three blondes on Santa's Lap??
→ Ho Ho Ho

There are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.

They were on a cruise ship and it was heading home. When they got about 20 miles of shore the boat began to sink (no idea way use your imagination). The three girls jump off and swim to a nearby island. After being there a few days the brunette tries to swim to shore. She gets about five miles off the island's shore and drowns. After a few days pass the redhead decides that she will try. She gets about have way and drowns. Now realizing all her friends are gone she decides to try too. Now she swims for hours. She gets to where she can see the shore but she is so tired she decieds to turn around and go back.

A blond sees a brunette standing in the middle of the highway.

The brunette keeps saying, "88, 88, 88..."

The blond calls to her as the cars and trucks wizz past.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm counting cars," comes the reply. "Want to help?"

"Sure!" says the blond. She walks out to the middle of the highway to the brunette and starts saying "88, 88, 88.."

All the time the cars are dodging the two woman. Then a big semi drives by and runs over the blond. The brunnette calmly walks down the highway, picks a new spot, and starts muttering, "89, 89, 89..."

Judi was bored with driving her BMW. It laced individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible.

That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with its gorgeous red paint work. An empty check stub later and off she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car. Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the radio, what could possibly go wrong?

At that thought there was a splutter from the engine and the car slowly coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the…

What do spaghetti and blondes have in common?
→ They both wiggle when you eat them!

There are three 3rd Grade girls, a blonde, a brunnett, and a red-head.

Which one is the tallest?
→ The blonde -- she is 18 years old!

A blond walks into a bar.
Ouch!

What is a Blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
→ Hump me dump me

What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you?
→ Pull the pin and throw it back.

A blonde was plugging dollar after dollar into the coke machine at a large Vegas casino. She kept punching the buttons only to have happen what you'd expect. Cans of soda popped out, one after the other, and change too!

After a while, she ran out of dollar bills so went and got more. Back at it she went, blocking the way to the other vending machines with the mounting pile of soda. All kinds. It didn't seem to matter to the young lady. People were starting to gather, seeing this beautiful woman enthusiastically plugging money in like it was fun. The people were gathering more though waiting their turn at the machines.

After watching a while, someone asked from the rear of the group, 'Hey, how…

What do you call 2 blondes in the front seat of a car?
→ Dual air bags!

Why was the blonde looking in the refrigerator?
→ Because The organe Juice said concentrate

How can you tell if a blond has been sleepwalking?
→ When you look in the refridgorator and there's lipstick all over the pickles.

What's a blonde's mating call?
→ I think I'm drunk.

Why are blonde jokes so short?
→ So men can remember them!

Why couldn't the blond pass her drivers test?
→ Every time the car stopped she jumped in the backseat.

A blonde goes for a job interview in an office.

The interviewer decides to start with the basics.

'So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?' The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, 'Ehhhh .. 22!'

The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. 'And can you tell us your height, please?' The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, 'Five foot two!'

This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. 'And uhh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?' The…

How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
→ Seven...one to mix the batter and six to peel the M&Ms.

How do you keep a blond(e) busy?
→ Give him/her a bag of M&Ms and ask her to alphabetize them.

Why does that work?
→ 'Does 3 come before E or between M and W?'

Why do blondes use so much shampoo?
→ The instructions read: LATHER, RINSE, REPEAT

Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen?
→ That's the proper place to wash vegetables.

Three blondes were driving down the highway trying to get to Disneyland. They saw a sign that read 'DisneyLand Left.' So they went home.

How do you know when a blonde has been working on your computer?
→ There's white out on the screen and lipstick on the joystick!

What do you call a line of blondes standing ear to ear?
→ A wind tunnel.