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What did the blonde say when she knocked over a priceless Ming vase?
→ "It's okay Daddy, I'm not hurt."

Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished the jigsaw puzzle after only 6 months?
→ Because on the box it said: From 2-4 years.

How do you drown a blonde?
→ Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
→ Stick a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
→ To see what was on the other side.

Why do blondes have more fun?
→ They are easier to keep amused.

What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
→ "Thanks for the refill!"

How did the blonde die ice-fishing?
→ She was run over by the zambonis machine.

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
→ You can park in the handicap zone.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a deserted island together. The island is 20 miles from the nearest inhabited island so they all decide to try to swim there. The redhead makes it 10 miles, is exhausted, gives up, and drowns. The brunette makes it 15 miles before she's too tired to go any farther and drowns. The blonde gets 19 miles away from the deserted island, decides she's too tired to go any farther, and swims all the way back to the deserted island.

A redhead, a brunette and a blonde all escape from a prison together. They run into the nearby woods and all climb up seperate trees. When the police find the redheads tree and ask who is up there, the redhead chirps like a bird. Then the police go to the brunette's tree. When they ask who is up there, the brunette makes chipmunk noises. Finally, when the police go to the blonde's tree and ask who is up there, the blonde goes, "MOOOOOOOOOO!"

One day while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggled and replied:

- When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!

Why did the blonde get thrown out of the M & M factory?
→ She kept throwing out all the W's.

What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
→ The 1995 Hide and Seek World Champion.

What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
→ A rebel without a clue!

Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
→ So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

There's a brunette standing in the middle of a street jumping up and down, counting "57, 57, 57." A blonde walks up to her and decides that this game could be fun. She asks the brunette if she can play too and the brunette says, "Sure." So the two jump up and down counting "57, 57, 57." Suddenly, the brunette jumps onto the curb and the blonde gets hit by a truck. The brunette goes back into the street and starts jumping again, counting "58, 58, 58."

What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?
→ Artificial intelligence.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead were standing in a line before a firing squad.

The commander says:

- READY, AIM

and the brunette yells:

- TORNADO! All the people turned around and looked and the brunette ran away.

Next, it's the redhead's turn. The commander says:

- READY, AIM

and the redhead yells:

- HURRICANE! Once again all the people turn around to look for the hurricane and the redhead runs away.

Finally, it's the blonde's turn. The commander says:

A blonde was swimming. She swam deeper and deeper until she drowned. Her husband came home and found her dead in the bathtub.

A blonde walks into a hair salon to get her hair cut wearing headphones. The stylist asks her to take off her headphones but the blonde refuses. So the stylist takes them off and the blonde collapses to the ground and dies. The stylist picks up the headphones and hears, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

One day there was a blonde riding a horse. The horse kept going faster and faster until the blonde fell off, with her foot getting stuck in the stirrup. Hearing her screams for help, finally a Wal-Mart clerk came over and turned off the merry-go-round.

One day a blonde, red-head, and a brunette were driving through the desert when all of a sudden their car broke down. They decided they would all walk to civilization.

The red-head said:

- I'm going to take water so if I get thirsty I can drink it.

Then the brunette said:

- I'm going to take some food so if I get hungry I can eat.

And then the blonde said:

- I'm going to take the car door, so if I get hot, I can roll the window down!

Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes?
→ To remind her that "toes go in first."

What is a brunette between two blondes?
→ An interpreter.

If a blonde and a brunette were falling off a building, who would hit the ground first?
→ The brunette because the blonde would stop for directions.