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- First cannibal: We had burglars last night.

- Second cannibal: Did they taste good?

What did the cannibal's wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner?
→ The cold shoulder.

A cannibal son and his father are out looking for food. They are watching people walk down the street. The son suggested a particularly plump woman and the father rejected saying that she's too fatty. Later on the son asked about a very skinny woman. Again the father refused saying that she's too skinny.

After a while the son pointed out a very attractive woman.

- Sure son - the father replied, drooling.

- We'll take her home and eat your mother!

Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible.

His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man's turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts:

Did you hear about the cannibal who committed suicide?
→ He got himself into a real stew.

Did you hear about the cannibal who joined the police force?
→ He said he wanted to grill his suspects.

- First Cannibal: Who was that girl I saw you with last night?

- Second Cannibal: That was no girl, that was my supper.

Two cannibals were having lunch.

- Your wife makes a great soup.

- Yes! But I'm going to miss her terribly.

- Well, children - said the cannibal cooking teacher.

- What did you make of the new English teacher?

- Burgers, ma'am.

The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace.

- For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful.

Two cannibals were having their dinner.

- I don't like your friend.

- Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables.

Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor?
→ They were given a right roasting.

Did you hear about the cannibals who captured a scrawny old hunter?
→ It sure gave them something to chew over.

- First cannibal: I can't find anything to eat!

- Second cannibal: But the jungle's full of people.

- First cannibal: Yes, but they're all very unsavory.

What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday?
→ He ate himself.

Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people's heads?
→ Because they're headcases.

Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation?
→ He said:

- So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses.

Why did the cannibal live on his own?
→ He was fed up with other people.

What is a cannibal's favorite food?
→ Baked Beings.

How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf?
→ He became a vegetarian.

What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock?
→ It repeated on him.

Why was the cannibal fined by the judge?
→ He was caught poaching.

What did the cannibal say when he was full?
→ I couldn't eat another mortal.

What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?
→ Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!

What happens if you upset a cannibal?
→ You get into hot water.