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Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
→ They don't have balls to scratch.

Why do women have tits?
→ So men will talk to them.

What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn't?
→ Her navel.

What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for?
→ It's Braille for 'Suck here.'

Why don't men fake orgasm?
→ Coz no man would pull those faces on purpose.

Whats the difference between erotic and kinky?
→ Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken.

Whats the difference between a 90s woman and a computer?
→ A 90s woman won't accept a three-and-a-half-inch floppy.

Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
→ It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy.

How are women and rocks alike?
→ You skip across the flat ones.

How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
→ It's not hard.

What is the one thing you will never hear a man say?
→ Her tits are just too big.

Men are like cement.
After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

What is the difference between a hog and a man?
→ A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
→ Breasts don't have eyes.

What is the difference between medium and rare?
→ 6 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare.

What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
→ Men usually miss all three.

How is a penis like fishing?
→ The small ones you throw back, the medium ones you eat, and the larger ones you mount.

Why do men have a hole in their penis?
→ So they can think with an open mind.

Mom's have Mother's Day, Father's have Father's Day. What do single guys have?
→ Palm Sunday.

Why are men like laxatives?
→ They irritate the shit out of you.

What does a woman's asshole do when she is having an orgasm?
→ He is usually home with the kids!

What do men and sperm have in common?
→ They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
→ So he can tell if he is coming or going.

What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
→ They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.

Why don't women have men's brains?
→ Because they don't have penises to put them in.