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If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?
→ Loch Jaws.

What happens when sharks take their clothes off?
→ They go sharkers!

What's an octopuses favourite latin saying?
→ Squid pro quo!

Who was the most famous pirate octopus?
→ Captain Squid!

What does a squid sheriff form?
→ An octoposse!

What does an octopus take on a camping trip?
→ Tentacles!

What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times?
→ Two octopuses shaking hands.

What does an octopus wear on a cold day?
→ A coat of arms!

Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
→ On squid row!

Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him?
→ He stung her into action.

What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas?
→ A red jellyfish.

What do you call a neurotic octopus?
→ A crazy, mixed-up squid.

What happened to the cold jellyfish?
→ It set!

Who robs banks and squirts ink?
→ Billy the Squid.

How does an octopus go to war?
→ Well-armed!

Who held the baby octopus to ransom?
→ Squidnappers!

What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way?
→ He whale-d

What did Cinderella Dolphin where to the ball?
→ Glass flippers!

Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?
→ Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!

How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
→ He prawned everything!

Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber?
→ The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.

Does a dolphin ever do something by accident?
→ No, they do everything on porpoise!

Why did the dolphin feel crabby?
→ Because he ate too many crabs!

How does a group of dolphin's make a decision?
→ Flipper coin!

An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. "But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously.
"Oh certainly, ma'am," said the manager smoothly.
"After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"