School

- Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that?

- Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday!

- Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year?

- Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February...!

- Mother: Does your teacher like you?

- Son: Like me, she loves me. Look at all those X's on my test paper!

- Mother: How do you like your new teacher?

- Son: I don't. She told me to sit up the front for the present and then she didn't give me one!

- What time do you get up in the morning?

- About an hour and a half after I arrived at school

- Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day?

- Pupil: I get up early!

How do bees get to school?
→ By school buzz!

- Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class?

- Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips!

What do French pupils say after finishing their school dinners?
→ Mercy!

- Teacher: Can't you retain anything in your head overnight?

- Pupil: Of course, I've had this cold in my head for two days!