School

- Science teacher: What happened when electricity was first discovered?

- Fred: Someone got a nasty shock.

- Principal: Do you do your homework?

- Kid: Now & Then

- Principal: Where do you do it?

- Kid: Here & There

- Principal: Put him in the closet!!!

- Kid: Hey, When will I get out?

- Principal: Oh, sooner or later

- Mother: Why are you home from school so early?

- Son: I was the only one who could answer a question.

- Mother: Oh, really? What was the question?

- Son: Who threw the eraser at the principal?

- Pupil: The art teacher doesn't like what I'm making?

- Dad: Why is that, what are you making?

- Pupil: Mistakes!

- Teacher: Fred, I'm glad to see your writing has improved.

- Pupil: Thank you

- Teacher: Now I can see how bad your spelling is though!

- Teacher: Name two pronouns?

- Pupil: Who?, me?

- Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection?

- Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!

- Teacher: Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago?

- Pupil: Me!

- Teacher: In music, if "f" means "forte", what does "ff" mean?

- Pupil: Eighty

- Teacher: You seem very well read, have you read Shakespeare?

- Pupil: No

- Teacher: What have you read then?

- Pupil: Umm, I've got red hair!