School

- Teacher: Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river?

- Pupil: Because it has four eyes and can't see!

- Teacher: Are you good at math?

- Pupil: Yes and no

- Teacher: What do you mean?

- Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math!

- I failed every subject except for algebra.

- How did you keep from failing that?

- I didn't take algebra!

- Teacher: I'll call you Fred Smith then.

- Pupil: My dad won't like that.

- Teacher: Why is that?

- Pupil: He doesn't like people taking the Mickey out of my name!

- Son: I can't go to school today.

- Father: Why not?

- Son: I don't feel well

- Teacher: Where don't you feel well?

- Son: In school!

- Teacher: What are the Great Plains?

- Pupil: 747, Concorde and F-16!

- Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?

- Pupil: No, teacher I'm having trouble listening!

- Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it?

- Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?

- Teacher: Is Lapland heavily populated?

- Class: No, there are not many Lapps to the mile!

- Teacher: Name an animal that lives in Lapland!

- Pupil: A reindeer

- Teacher: Good, now name another.

- Class: Another reindeer!

- Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.

- Class: Hooray!

- Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!